i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize