? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize