everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
