Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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