Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
