sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
