His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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