No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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