You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
