Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
