Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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