Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
