Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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