don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
