I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this just has baby written all over it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize