I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
