some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So vagazzling was a success
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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