There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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