so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They took my balls.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
