Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
