i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
