I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
