Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
