Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
