sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
