i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize