is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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