So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Please don't give away my fajitas
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
