from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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