Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
