Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
