i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize