cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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