Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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