Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
