Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
foreskin is a definite game changer
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
