If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
