garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize