Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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