I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize