You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
