it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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