why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
