i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
