We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
