fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We just shotgunned beers for America
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
