Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
