I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
