Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
nutella sex= disaster
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
