Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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