got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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