She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just found puke in my bra..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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