no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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