Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize