At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
zippers are such a cool invention
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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