so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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