I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
