I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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