would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
