new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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